I was trying to find a balance
But with so many conflicting viewpoints, achieving it was quite a challenge.
I wanted to exist somewhere between being Miss Independent and doing my own thing
And allowing myself to want the man who'd dress my finger with a ring.
And, here's the thing:
Yeah, the piece of jewelery is nice,
But my heart's desire has really always been to be a wife,
To commit myself to someone else until the end of life
As a building block in a family I'd praise God for every night.
But somewhere in between Beyonce and Sex and the City reruns,
My thoughts of a husband got replaced by the thought that I didn't need one.
As a woman in today's world, I'm taught that I don't need none.
Except a couple guys on speed dial that I could call so we can have fun.
And so Hubby got demoted to 'accessory' like some Lou Bous.
See, independent women get to focus their energy into new shoes,
Handbags, hairstyles and name brands. We gotta stay fly
Becuase even though we don't
need husbands, we still like to attract guys.
But not all my energy was supposed to go into my ouside.
See, the Independent Women Club does have some guidelines.
Club rule #2: Finish school.
But the key is to do it by yourself.
So, I got busy, got down to work and put God up on the shelf
So I could finish my degree and start my carrer,
Then create a life that meant I'd never come near to uttering the words independent women fear:
"I can't do this by myself...."
You get evicted swiftly from the club if independent women hear
"I cant' do this by myself...."
Your net worth heads south
And suddenly you're left only with the clothes you've flaunted,
An empty home and no man to even watch you flaunt them.
Becuase, really, what man goes where he isn't wanted?
What man goes where he isn't needed?
And even if that's not the case, you've lead him to believe it.
Paraded self-reliance so long, he can't believe you'd leave it -
That life you've built that suits just one...he wants to know where he fits
In your independent world.
So, lonely and confused, I prayed to God and read his Word.
His response:
Stop marketing yourself as an independent girl
That's not how I designed you.
And if you don't let me in your life, I won't let your husband find you.
See, I've got one of my sons preparing especially to guide you.
To love you like he loves himself and lead your family in my truth.
But you've got work to do, too -
You're not read to be lead.
Take instruction from my written word, commit it to your head.
Commit it to your life and turn your focus back to me
And use this time of singleness to understand what I've purposed your life to be.
Ever since that talk with God, my attitude's been different.
Single ladies on the radio and I ain't even with it.
My former motto: "I don't need anyone" is both destructive and worthless
Because fellowship with believers has helped me walk into my purpose.
And sometimes I still ask God when hubby's coming. I'm not perfect,
But when you let God do what He does best, the wait is always worth it.
~gg~
Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. 
